This summer has been a whirlwind and I kind of thought ALL of the summer activity would keep me distracted from ALL of the adoption waiting…but it didn’t. Every single day it was on my mind…on Jay’s….on the kids. Everything we did together this summer ended with “we’ll have to do this with our kids/siblings from Burundi one day!”
We are all amazed at how deeply rooted our love for these kids is!
To be completely honest there were so many moments this summer when I began to feel discouraged. I let myself dwell on worst case scenario….started believing worst case…began believing that my story would be just like someone else’s so instead of trusting God I started focusing on other peoples adoption process timelines. Bad. Bad. Bad. I felt like a crazy person dwelling on all the what ifs.
The end of July we found out that the Central Authority Adoption Committee in Burundi, the group that will match us with orphans, only meets every 3 months.
(insert: heart aching discouragement)
But then we found out that they are scheduled to meet in AUGUST!!!
(insert: JUMPING FOR JOY then an immediate downward spiral into trying not to get my hopes up).
I strongly disliked the feelings I was having. This was good news! I should be excited! I don’t want to go through this journey always talking myself out of feeling joy just so I wont feel disappointment. I want to experience every good thing God has to give but I’m sure to miss that if my hope is in the wrong things.
God in his great kindness, spoke truth into my soul. “Hope in me, Heather. Don’t hope in man… or in man made governments…Hope only in me.” He was so right (as God always is!) I was not trusting in Him. I was putting my hope in the people I allowed myself to believe were in control of our adoption. So I spent a good amount of time meditating on what “Hoping in God” really means and this is what I found.
It means I believe wholeheartedly that God is in control of everything…EVERYTHING!
- Our paperwork
- Who is caring for our kids
- When we will get our referral
- When we will get to go to Africa and bring our kids home
- All of the civil unrest in Burundi
The list goes on and on! I also have come to understand that IF I believe this, if my hope is in God alone, then I will not be disappointed … Romans 5: 1-5 says so! And that is enough for me!
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also rejoice in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
What peace I felt reading this over and over again…what HOPE!!!
BEST PART: After redirecting my hope we also found out that Central Authority does their best to give every adoption agency at least ONE referral each time they meet. The good news is that we are the FIRST family from our agency to have approved paperwork that is sitting on the desk of Central Authority!!! SO…I am TOTALLY allowing myself to be excited about this news! This does not mean we will get a referral in August but it does mean that we are praying our guts out about it!!!! God has pressed into our hearts an urgency to pray towards getting a referral this month. Will you pray with us??? Believing that God’s plan is the best plan and if his plan is for us to receive a referral in August wouldn’t it be something if we were ALL praying this way and then we got to see it come to fruition! AWESOME-SAUCE for sure!!! If God chooses to wait till later than we will not be disappointed, knowing His timing is perfect! So please, PLEASE pray with us!!!
We do not know the exact date Central Authority will meet and we don’t know if the struggles Burundi has been going through will delay the process or not… BUT we do know that God can move mountains and He can move the hearts of people and so He can surely move our paperwork into the hands of CA this month if He wills!
I do find it encouraging that as soon as we learned this information, so many of you have been contacting us and asking about where we are in the process…could God be stirring your hearts also? I think so! Thank you for caring, for praying, for loving us!
We will surely keep you posted!
LOVE,
Heather