Underdog

Posted on by Heather Hughes
While this has nothing to do with our adoption I couldn’t help but share one of the things God has shown me about my “Parent Prayers” this week and how they reveal my lack of trust in Him…
If you are a parent and you have ever seen your kids struggle with something you can’t control you will be able to relate…unless you are massively godly then you might not 🙂
Here’s the thing, my oldest son has always been the smallest one in his class…the smallest one on any team…the smallest among his friends.  Just small in size.
Who cares, right? So what if he’s small?  
For years we didn’t think much about it. He’s a kid…he’ll grow. And he has. Just not as fast or as tall as those around him.
“Why does this even matter?” you might ask…
‘Cause if my son loves anything, works hard at anything…its BASKETBALL.  And in case you didn’t know…short and basketball rarely go hand in hand.
Every year from 8th grade on we have wondered: 
“Will this be the year he cant keep up due to his size?” 
“Will he give up out of frustration because of his size?”
But he has NEVER given up.  Never ever. 
Let me just make sure you understand that this boy of mine…this small boy…has never once complained about his height.  Not once. What he has done is worked harder and harder and harder than anyone else. Which is why I prayed:
 “Please, Lord, let him grow. He loves you, He loves basketball…can you just give him a few extra inches?”
Is that too much to ask? No. Because God can do anything!  The problem with asking for physical growth is that my perspective is all askew. I was asking for something to be fixed that wasn’t broken. I was asking God to change his omniscient plan for my sons life just so he would fit in a little better. 
Shame on me.
   
Here’s what happened. 
We were sitting together as a family, in the living room, reading our Advent devotional.  The topic was:  How God uses those things in our lives that are hard for His Glory.  We shared one by one a time in our life that God took something difficult and made it good. 
My oldest went last.  He spoke. “Being small…being short has been hard but God has and is using it for good.”  
It took all I had not to fall on my face and weep…for two reasons.
1.  It was the first time he has ever mentioned his height & I knew he had been bothered all these years…being the shortest…and that broke my heart.
2.  I knew my prayers for him had been all wrong. 
In that moment God spoke Matthew 6:33    

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

And I repented.

I was not seeking for or praying for God’s kingdom to be revealed in my boy through this perceived height limitation. I was seeking God to change his limitations so that he would no longer be limited.

The thing is he is NOT limited. Not in any way, shape or form.  He is exactly as he should be.

God’s plan for my boy today is to be a 5’6″ basketball player for the Glory of God… to be the Underdog on the court.

And every time my boy walks out on the court God is glorified.

See, when you are small and you play basketball, people (even your own parents) question whether or not you will be able to play with the Big Boys.  I can not tell you how many times I’ve sat in the stands overhearing people talk about how small “that” kid is, only to hear their perspective change in the first, second, third & fourth quarter of the game. Its more common than not for a stranger to come up to him after the game and tell him that they really enjoyed watching him play.  But its not just his skill that they notice, its his composure. He is humble, hard working, and can handle pressure like no one I’ve ever known. And every single game he makes people smile.  He baffles the eloquent wordsmiths, and he inspires those who are also small in stature.  If you weren’t originally there to root for the little guy you will be by the end of the game.

Right now the basketball floor is the platform God has given my boy to shine his light for Jesus.  His height is what draws the attention, but his character points all to Christ.

What more could a mother ask for?

My boy wont play basketball forever.  He will grow into a man, a man that God has big plans for. No doubt He is preparing my son for great things and so I pray for spiritual growth, not physical growth.

What I have prayed (every day of his life) is that he would know the love and grace of Jesus.
And he does.
And THAT’S what matters.

Its hard to be 15. Its hard to be short when all your friends are taller than you. Its hard to be a lover of basketball and only be 5′ 6″.  But when you know the God of the universe your height doesn’t matter one bit.   Apparently my boy learned this earlier than I did.

I’m his mom.  I love him.  I think I know what’s best for him. Sometimes I’m wrong.

But God is never wrong.  He knows exactly what my son needs in order to bring glory to Himself. So, I will get out of the way and seek first God’s Kingdom & His Righteousness in the life of my son, in the lives of all my children, and I will watch ALL the things that will be added to them by God alone.

I love this quote by Tim Keller:
You should not begin to pray for all you want until you realize that in God you have all you need.

Ask yourself, honestly…”what do I pray for my kids?”  Let’s ask God to help us to pray with an eternal perspective for these kids we love so much and to trust the ONE who knows best!

Love,
Heather

3 thoughts on “Underdog”

  1. I just love this! Jaxon's attitude in so many respects has been inspirational. Given what a big deal and big talent basketball is for him, I can see how this would be on the forefront of his mine, but that's amazing that instead of wallowing, he has worked all the harder and made it a non-issue. Good for him!

  2. Heather, this made me cry. Isn't it beautiful and humbling when we see evidence of love for Jesus in our kids? Coming from the Fearey gene pool, I understand being short… and many games of watching my 5'4" brother run faster and play harder than a lot of other boys and wishing for him that he was taller. 🙂 Dave and I enjoy watching and rooting for Jaxon but we are encouraged with you to see growth in his love for Jesus. I'm happy for your spiritual epiphany also! Love to you!

  3. Heather, what you wrote is amazing and really touch my heart! You need to publish this as an article somewhere, your school paper or a parent magazine, you have a talent to write and the words come to life in your heart, that's a real gift. What you said, many parents struggle with and they need to read this! It spoke to my heart as I've struggled with this in one of my kids lives over the years. God is made strong in our weakness! He uses our inadequacies or impossible circumstances for good even when we ask for it to be removed and we're getting in His way of using it for his glory and work in their lives. We just want our children to be the best and succeed in everything they do when God wants them to be the best on the inside, in their character and walk with Him. Don and I have seen this character in Jaxon over and over again and Don's often spoke about Jaxon to others in how he uses his shortness to surprise his opponents but also talked about his character on the court, we've always been so impressed with your boy! I want to encourage you, Heather, in your parenting. You and Jay are doing a fabulous job just by enjoying your kids, wanting to be with them, and praying continually for them. I want to share a quote that hung in my Dad's office for years as a pastor and he lived this: "When God is going to do something wonderful He begins with a difficulty. When He is going to do something VERY wonderful, He begins with an impossibility". Pray for the impossibilities to shine for His glory!!! Chris Young

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