I’ve been contemplating the last few days as to whether or not I should write this post. But I think it could be helpful for well intended people who just want to “make sure” we know what we are getting into regarding adoption.
Yes. We know what we are getting into.
We know that our adopted children:
- may have an attachment disorder
- may have a treatable or non-treatable disease
- may at some point be exposed to Ebola (although the Ebola virus is currently very active in Western Africa…Burundi is East)
- may have been sexually abused
- may not like us
- may be malnourished
- underdeveloped
- scared
- may act out in anger because they don’t understand the change in their life
- may light things on fire
- may torture pets (Wait. We don’t have any…thanks to Jay)
- may act out sexual inappropriateness
- may feel out of place because of the color of their skin
The list could go on and on and on and on….
We know these things because
- The Home Study requirements include watching HOURS of adoption scenarios…all of which are not super positive
- The Adoption Agency also requires us to watch many more HOURS of adoption seminars. SO far only one of them has had anything positive to say.
- People RARELY tell you success stories of adoption…only the horror stories. Everybody knows somebody who has had a bad experience. These are real. And terribly sad. I’m not trying to make light of them but they are the minority.
We also know that our adopted children:
- may come to understand the love of Christ because they were adopted on earth. It may be the first glimpse into who God is and his love for ALL people.
- may flourish in their new surrounding
- may love us deeply
- may not have been sexually or physically abused
- may not have a disease
- may not have a hard time attaching to us
I am not saying that we want to be naive and not know that there could be very difficult times ahead…we are fully educating ourselves and will continue to. BUT, it sure is massively encouraging when someone tells a success story.
I know these stories are out there and I would love to hear them! So please post them here!
I read a blog post from The Gospel Coalition today that had me in tears and renewed my hope in adoption after having a week of heavy and sad stories. Its not long and I would strongly encourage you to read it, You too will be encouraged. We pray for this kind of relationship with our adopted children and believe it isn’t impossible when God is in control.
The truth is IF every single thing on the negative list above were to happen this would be God’s will for our lives and He will give us the power to deal with it. We do not fear God’s plan for us, even if its difficult. We long to be living the life He has planned for us and today that plan includes adopting. Will it be difficult? It might be. Will it be beautiful? Absolutely.
After listening to a sermon by John Piper on adoption Jay sent me this email. This sums up how we feel:
h
I listened to this on my Social Security trip to Caldwell. Wow. Amazing. No other words. I wish I could say things that clearly! I agree with everything he said, (other than I don’t quite have the same understanding that he does of Predestination). But what a takeaway – that we are Adopted by God FOR the Glory of His Grace, and that we are adopting kids FOR the Glory of HIS Grace. To point them to Jesus. Yes! The main thing is that we are united in partnering with God to LOVE kids that need love, and to help them see God and his Son. Regardless of skin color or age or culture. That is it… that’s what we are doing. What a privilege we have… I’m so glad to be on this path with…………………………… you.
j
Just to be clear…we have received a HUGE amount of support from so many of you and we cannot fully express the joy and encouragement you have brought us. We have received emails, texts, letters, phone calls & financial gifts that have led us to give thanks to our Great God for each of you. Seriously! I’ve been in tears many a time over your kindness and generosity. We thank God for you! We’ve met with so many of you who have wanted to hear more details of our story & who have committed to walk along side us and pray for us. All of this leaves me speechless at times…that in itself is amazing! 🙂
And on a more superficial note…Jay gave me a special little gift today! I love it!
Don’t shy away from sharing adoption stories of love with us! We want to hear them!!
Love,
Heather